7. My Life > Your Life ????

Today I was discussing issues with one of the students. Well he could ignite this tiny idea in my mind, to re-think, re-write in English blog, why sorrow is normal and suffering is optional..

Sorrow, suffering, sadness , disappointments , departures of our loved ones , all these do happen to each and every one, may be each and every day. There’s no time, there no turn or a moment we can expect. Can we ever schedule, postpone or delay the sufferings, even if we want?

 NO.

Depressing, disappointing things bring discomfort to our lives. It is a  feeling of difficulty of breathing, living and spending each and every moment of time. We wish if we could, erase that portion of happenings from our lives.

But can we? Can we really do that?

Every unfavorable time, we tend to say to us, "why me?" "Why did this happen to only me?" "Why do I not deserve happiness like they do?"  "Why am i the one selected to suffer ?"

 Why why why???

Well.... I got something to say...

Don’t forget, everyone smiles. Everyone loves fun. But none of them have the perfect happiness, at  least a part of it. But when you are in deep pain, you see they all seem relaxed. But remember , our eyes does illusions. It’s not the truth.

As you smile, as you use your smile to ease the pain, everyone does the same. No difference! suffering is inherited in our lives by birth. Pains, hurts, losses, tears, injustice ... I can give many names to those bad times. But didn’t you think, suffering is something deviating from the smooth run.

I once learned these... why suffer?  Why CONTINUE suffering? Pain is eternal. But suffering is optional! Don’t you think so . I do.

When i faced an utmost, most fearful loss in my life, yes I suffered! I hid in a room for months! I cried alone! At night! At dark! While traveling home by bus even! I cried! I asked myself.. Why me??? What’s wrong with only my fate? For several days says and days, yes it was that QUESTIONING TIME!

But after few weeks , I learned ,the questions I asked were not questions, they were signs of  regrets, symbols of  wounds of  unarguable losses ! Then I learned , NO , if there’s a question , not solvable within my limit, why go behind to solve? Let me be me, let me pray! It was that PRAYING  TIME !

After some days I realized prayers work. Prayers didn’t solve the question,. Prayers gave me energy to believe that suffering is optional! Yes I decided at that moment, Pain will arrive and vanish time to time, some are intense, and some are not. Pain can live with me.

“But I’m not going to SUFFER ANYMORE ! I’m not going to entertain  nor water YOU ‘PAIN’. Not anymore”

 Yes , it was when the prayers worked !

when I made a choice , between suffering, living and winning the rest of my life, yeah , I am that stone heart determined myself , the third option  - WINNING THE REST OF MY LIFE !

I win...! I believe in what prayers gave me! The strength to neglect the typical discouraging factors! The strength to neglect the typical views of the society. !

 There I Win. ! Not the entire world ! I WON the LOVE of my OWN HEART towards MY SELF !

REMEMBER !

PAIN IS INEVITABLE !

SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL  !

LIVING WITH PAIN IS POSSIBLE !

FORGETTING PAIN & LIVING IS NORMAL !

WINNING THE LIFE BACK IS EXCEPTIONAL !

6. 3 Difficult 4s' for an Uncomplicated Life !

In my short period of life , I have explored very special 3 things that are extremely hard to do , unless we learn and practice the art of doing it. Let me call these  'The three difficult  4s' because , believe me friend , it's so easy to explain, but so killing when you practice .


The three difficult  4s' for an uncomplicated life !

1. FORGIVE

Things happen. And some happenings might hurt. Some wounds might be severe. and some are not.

If someone hurts you , and says 'I'm Sorry' (sometimes so easily) , yes you can blindly say 'Its OK, forget it' . But when you don't mean it from your heart, you might know how heavy it is , to forget the incident. The mistake keeps bothering your memory, disturbs the day all along, and keeps nodding the head saying , 'Why did you say its OK, its NOT OK '


Have we really forgiven them? have we really given up the mistake and pain? I don't think so. The more you hold , the more you suffer.Instead , Why should you forgive , when you really cant? why don't you forgive from the bottom of your heart? and  Can't we request a little more time from the culprit (as we assume) before you namely  say 'Its OK'. Well friend, this is what I really feel.

Forgive fully , When you can  !

2.  FORGET

 Yes , Sometimes its easy to forgive. But never so easy to forget that you suffered. Even more difficult to forget that you forgave and the chapter was closed. Keeping it in your memory (in IT its called RAM) and refreshing the experience , doesn't it mean you haven't fully forgiven?

let it go buddy , let it bury in the past. let things flow, from wherever it started, let it flow to the end it desires. let the little stream of water be an invisible portion of the ocean. let it go. be that feather in the wind.

lets forget , I bet you feel lighter and softer, I bet you feel proud about the 'noble me' !

3. FORBID

The most difficult FOR..... , is it let you be the guard dog of you. let you decide what you should do, not your emotions.

If you emotions play fool with you, you will be a slave of your emotions.  Emotions can easily overrule your life. But if you are the one to decide , whether you make the same mistake or not , sure you choose , 'Not again' !

Forbid your emotions to do it again. Remind your guard dog , (That is you) to take care of the line of thoughts. Pick and release the safest , while the vulnerable ones labeled as 'defects' and rejected.

Never so easy , as we say , but worth it to try how it corrects your life.

Why not , Forbid the excessive outflow of emotions and avoid repetitive mistakes ?

Isn't it less complicated with the
The 3 difficult  4s' for an uncomplicated life?

-FORGIVE- The Sources of Mistakes-

-FORGET- The Traces of Mistakes-

-FORBID- The Causes of Mistakes-

5. Default Busy ?

Busy ! a red light? a whistling kettle all the time? this bee is always busy...
Dont you rest a while?


well... work.. 'working' makes me so relieved sometimes. working is the joy. where as relaxing is a pain. Have you felt this at least once?


I was grounded by this thought once again. why do some people get purposely busy? It could be me, it could be you, No matter who.. Why? Why do we want to be busy? once this crawled in to my head , sometimes looking at my own life , Am I that busy one? one who purposefully work hard and continues to be busy even before sleep, reading a book.


Is it because we are afraid to relax? and hate to be emotionally down? is it that we can't face the bitter realities?


Yes, I have felt this many times, where relaxing is a challenge , a nightmare.  Feeling very uneasy when , jobless. Feeling bit comfortable when your mind is engaged in work.


But can we escape the whatever bitter realities? The truths we can't easily think and bear? Can we have such an easy excape? Can we continue this escape ? Is it practical?


Tell me why , are we afraid to relax? relaxed mind can memorize the reality better than a busy one. The emotions ate active even when you are relaxed.. You can be that emotional and feel the pain better when relaxed. And we dont like the 'pain' segment. segment of loneliness and segment of reality to face .


We learn to relax after work , at a computer, on facebook or  a computer game. we think its a relaxation, but are we in to relaxing ? are we easing the effort of the wholeday , or are we bunching up more and more stress by working out ? More work , less pain.


Can we give a little try to face it ? May be you feel better by relaxing when you are strong. You can see the better part, positive part of an unseen unaware incident which you neglected before.


Relaxing is a challenge , especially once you are addicted to work. Relaxing is a scary feeling , when you assume relaxing can make you emotional.

Dare to Relax ! Being Busy is not a Medicine nor a Pain Killer.

4. The Story of a Desert Flower

This is a story of a desert flower. A flower never watered , but drank all of her strength again and again , lent her kind smile and forgiving hands all the time whoever in need. A flower of a pleasurable sight. A flower which never hid her yellow petals from the world's eyes.

once upon a time... yes, let me quit.

Because she nods me and says , Nah am a little tree now.  I am growing to a little tree. A tree , a shade , a shelter now, a tall one, where no one could sit at my branches. A tree that anyone would sit and rest underneath.

I remember her, weeping at me, may be even trying to escape the entire traumatic situation before few years. I remember her talking to me hours and hours, for the pain she went through. I am definite today , she wouldn't tell her story to a newspaper , or to a novelist, because she , herself is a legend, where a great lyricist or a novelist wouldn't be able to word.

She smiles at me , tells me ,

you know , 

Life seems miserable when you are clouded with uncertainty , crowded with problems with no nearing visible solutions.

But That's the same period of life, teaching you how proud you should be , about how brave and outstanding you were , even to simply SURVIVE !

Remember , just like this desert flower, YOU ULTIMATELY STANDOUT !!!!!!!

3. Ignorance/Rememberance of Death !

 Ben's Death , is all what I thought for days.!  I really felt regretting i kept this motion picture for more than 8 months , unwatched and not cared. but finally I made it. I made it such a golden opportunity to open my mind to a path which was completely blind on my life.

Death. Death was treated as a synonym for stupidity. But the other day , I started asking my self , was his death really useless? was it plain stupid ? was it a sin? sin nor good? He left me in a pint where i couldn't margin the good and evil.

He lost his love. okay , its that common movie script. he took 6 more lives. It wasn't all he intended. But unintentional means unforgivable. As a friend commented on this, a murderer wouldn't regret as Ben did. Ben couldn't forgive himself, he wasn't killing. That's what Ben thought. Ben wanted to give his life , not for nothing, but for 7 dying souls , who were really needed for the betterment of the world.

Ben at last , finds the 7- Emily.  . realizing something that wasn't in his 'plan' as well. That was 'Love'. Love to Emily Posa, the dying 'heart'..

Ben still decides to stick to the plan. Ben wants to die. Die for a reason.I remember a close uncle of mine once said , DIE FREE , LIVE WELL.... and Ben is lucky , he died for a reason to give life to seven dying souls.

Dying is painful. Living is painful too.

2. Reading Minds

Mind reading was mind blowing to me once. Reading or scanning a human face was initially such an interesting fact to me. Infact I do still. I enjoy still. but was it a total enjoyment? or did it make me feel disappointed or sad?

This was a paradox of thoughts. learning about a human , and that skill could be your gift and your curse. Whats read could be hurtful , or could be very pathetic to know. Reading minds might be a way to sharpen the thinking. makes it possible to analyse a situation. but too much analysis? you know nothing's good when its excessive. be Careful! you will be addicted to thinking ! :-)

Well... This is a very simple piece of write, reading and scanning a human mind. Good to scan, good to stay away from fooling around, as long as you are not using it for analyzing every aspect of life.

when you read, its a good idea to learn give up. if you cant give up the chain of thoughts after it, well you are in trouble. don't judge by reading. Instead learn. its the secret to happiness.

remember . reading minds is mind blowing. but learning others thoughts can be sometimes killing. especially when they still fool around, assuming you never read their minds :-) ha a ha a ha a :D

1. First Day of the Circle of Life

This is.. and This is.. and this is... my blog. a place where i write my simple thoughts, in the ever simplest form of speech , and please my friends, I'm just a writer of freestyle, a person whose thoughts are writable. I am not a professional writer, professionally I am a lecturer. The things I talk, will be the things i write, as I talk.

This is especially for those who find so so uneasy with my sinhala posts , at sansaare. So in here , its just an E , sansaareE :-) which is the english version of the thoughts .

Welcome! and Have a Nice day all !!!

Yesterday was history ,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But Today is a gift,
Thats why its called THE PRESENT !