13. What LOVE is all about ....

Love had been one of the most discussed phenomenon in the world. Love can have definitions that can fill books and shelves of it.

Have fallen in love for 10 years , today i should say to me, ' Girl , should a human make such a number of mistakes to find where your heart song come from?'

As in Happy feet , every penguin has a heart song, well i have understood today that i too got a heart song, where NOT any man could see a rhythm in it.

My love means just a perfection of my own globe.

A man who is just a MALE version of mine, who loves every simple mistake of my life. Who can see the wonder in my soul rather pointing at every single weakness of mine.

A man who loves people and my desires . A man who always is open for anything i wish to do , any dream that comes to my mind....

Starting from tattoos , to piecing and hippy dreams of traveling and living a simple life... Can a man on earth say yes and okay to very single desire in my untamed open heart? Can any in-laws on earth say yes to such 'considered terrible' girls dreams ? Well thats the perfect point that a girl like me can anchor the rest of the life.

Love gives me everything to be just me, in his perfectly beautiful world... Thank you my beautiful love who is not an exploration of mine , but my folks who were worried about a girl reaching thirties single and manless.

How could you be proposed to me by my parents ? You have been proposed by god to give life to poor girl who suffered enough for thirty years !

Thank you my love !

I could be the most irritating girl you could find on earth. But it was you who could always say , 'just because u r aggressiveness , i cant let you go, so lets correct your anger , but never give up this love '

Wow.. Isn't this my whole life waited for ? No doubt .. Its yes ...

here I write my definition of LOVE,

LOVE is the feeling that you feel you are just yourself , and your partner feels the same , while sharing a compassion that you are never able to share with some other being...

12. Tree of Love - NOT a Rose of Love !

This is a very well known Email forward , for years ... But surprisingly , this makes me so sensitive and touched , whenever I read it. Just like Forrest Gump, No matter how many times I have watched. It touches me again and again when I watch.
Please read this. Hats off to the original writer !!!!! 

                             MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...


“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥

 

 

 

                                    ----------------------------------------------------

 My Note on the story ....

 

Love is not a bunch of Roses ! Love will not drain  like a flower withers... 

 

 Love is a TREE .  Love will grow bigger and stronger as time turns a little plant in to a Giant Shade.  Love doesn't bloom in a night, love struggles to win for years, as a tree fights for its soil of nutrients , and space on earth. 

Remember , only The Strongest Trees Remain , where as other kinds , gives up the existence ! 

 

Strength is not Inborn not a Miracle too.. Strength is gained after rigorous practice, as a Tree Root fights with its soil to settle to its best ! 

A Tree may not look soft tender and fragile like a flower, but strong and durable for its lasting survival. 

                             Life is a Tree, only few grow Giant and Durable. Live it. Love it. 

 

Love life will not look NEAT ! 

But it can look Healthy and Steady .. 

As a Giant Tree isn't Pretty like a flower, but strong enough to live longer.

11. How to 'Hakuna Matata' !

When I was small, the first animated movie that inspired my heart was the 'Lion King' . I watched it hundred times , and still do. Movies are always a medicine for forgetting the problems .. But forgetting a problem isn't a solution.

All our life, we keep on doing this . Problem Solving ! Remember , some problems are easy to solve, some can be solved , some are simply IMPOSSIBLE !

It is our common sense that signs , whether a problem is worth enough to face or not, when the problem is on the way. We see the oncoming hurricane, and there we got to make a choice !

Either to stand in front of it , but should we do it, if we are sure we cannot stand it . we cannot survive ?

Well my friend, I would like to tell  you a very small thing. Remember the I mentioned, SOME PROBLEMS ARE IMPOSSIBLE To SOLVE !!!

We need not show our ability to stand , not the bravery , is the problem is too hard to solve. If the problem solving takes our whole life time and waste the better living. Make a choice , Be Honest , but you need not stand for truth and ruin the entire future ! Instead , stay away from the problem ..

may be , my point is not so philosophical, but I promise this is the only practical way , in some cases. May be you might have to admit something you are not responsible for. But its worth admitting and minimizing the harm to your self, than life time struggling and suffering while the truth never wins and life keeps draining in to death.

Please understand , Some problems are impossible to solve. The power stands within another party.
Your brave-hearted , very theoretical minded friends will ask you stand for the justice, work for the truth , but if your heart says, 'this is kinda a different game, never take the risk of standing against powerful party' yes, you should never fight. Fighting can only hurt you, but not the smart Rock.

Be problem free , by standing away from the problem ! that's the only way to live , not so philosophical and ideal, but very practical for your peaceful survival.

Hakuna Matata !

10. Essence of Team Spirit !

Last Tuesday , was a remarkable day in my life. I have passed many never-forgetting days , I CTRL+S the ones which seem really worth saving in my memory ..

I saw my bunch of kids (of course they are really big kids ) were smelling 'paint' & were back to their child hood scrap book work , making kiddy looking notice boards for other departments. Of course they were adorable ! adorable with the smell of paint and team effort!!

A Team ! and Team work is never be learned on parroting BELBIN's team roles ! Belbin has nothing to do in a book but in the real world. I heard the kids were arguing , playing music , making lists , shouting , laughing , without even having their lunch , they were all in to 'smelling paint' ... I was aside watching jealously their young spirit , their adoring life enjoying to the fullest !

after all , i knew they felt what a TEAM is... its more than just capitalizing the word ! Its more than just saying Hi to each other. Its where people feel each other , talk , say what they feel what they have to do...

A team cant exist despite of the problems , but it is where the beauty begins ! it is where life begins ! a man can build a house alone ! practically yes, even after centuries , he can say the house was a success !! but who else is there to have a snack with him , sitting inside that one man newly build house ? who is there to enjoy life in it with him? who is there to ask his legend of how this house was built ? who is there to clap , find faults or argue on changing the way it looks like ? is it a house ? yes .. but is that a home ? hell NO !

A team is a family , a family full of DIFFERENT beings , you live , you love , you argue , you fight , you learn and you always admit that the entire earth is a bunch of inter dependent components ! you help, you laugh , you weep, you joke , you blast , end of the day you are a team ! you achieve as a team..

a bunch of different guys finally flavour the taste of success. you forget who worked ,, who didn't you fought , who gave up, you join hands with everyone ,  forget the past and share the joy of success ! it is quite a different feeling you earn , when a bunch laughs , hi five to each other at the end of a team success ! and its way way way different , when you study alone , pass an exam with flying colours !

for the latter , you hear praises , you hi five with your mirror image , its only you who is proud of what you are !

learn to share ! learn to team with ! learn to talk, fight , cry and achieve a TEAM SUCCESS!

9. Shall we dance ?

When I was a little girl, I seriously dreamed something really really unusual, which is to become a journalist! A  lady who speaks on Radio, goes on those press conferences. May be as a kid seeing TV Newscast I used to dream  a woman who could talk and inspire others.

Well,  I couldn't be a journalist , nor someone called a 'giant personality'. I ended up struggling with numbers, calculus , organic chemistry and mechanics! and finally management as well!

And most amazingly, would you believe it was nightmare to become a teacher . All I wanted was ANY job but not a teacher.

Life changes in such a surprising way , life moves where we don't want to end up at. 

Well this is how I used to think about me and my life , when it kept going in to chemistry , IT , Management and Teaching! yea, I spent few years asking why? why ? why? and why? Why me always been chosen to be whom I don't want to ?

After few years , the organs called my brain and my heart , realized the value of being united. Being an integrated element of wisdom. It (Wisdom) knocked my head asking , did all these expectations not came true, ended you in utter failure?

I started thinking again...

Well Shah Rukh Khan had a zoology degree and ended up in Bollywood. Steve Jobs - a college drop out, ended up in making Computers and software.

Does our degree and life passion need alignment always . If it was yes for you, well you are a lucky one! But...

Is a degree , just end of the rest of the future and your life passions? Being a science graduate , should you always be a Scientist? Being an IT Degree holder, should you always be a software engineer ?

As per my view,  its time to pause this traditional Degree> Job> Family> Die Life Chain. You must have been dreaming to model. Why think your  Bsc. in Chemistry a barrier to it ? why think you need to graduate in Modelling to enter in to the profession? All are Myths! As long as you have passion and patience towards whom you dream to be, you need not worry. You are NEVER late !!!!

Well... You learn one thing , you use it for career , earn from a different job , and WHY NOT LIVE ENTIRELY YOUR DREAM LIFE?????. Why you put a full stop for what you are really hunting for? why not let your passion or dream be your part time work?

Don't you think that your career , your job, your education are 'relief factors' to freely concentrate in your life opportunities? I do always think so. I shouldn't have been blogging here , roaming for book shopping if I weren't really earning enough. As I have my education, its a relief I job and earn. Thinking like that , made me love my education and career a lot. I am always grateful that I have time to enjoy my life as I don't need to work like a laborer all day !

Well, what about someone keep blaming to the rest of the world for forcing ? for forcing things that didn't help your dream?

But Tell me did your complain work? Sitting and regretting for not graduating in your dream field , will did make some difference?

I learned to think differently. I learned to accept and be blessed for who I am today. I learned to remember what I gained by chemistry although I don't even remember the chemical formula for benzene, moreover IT, Management and teaching ..Then it really clicked me, my job and my education ( something i initially didn't fall in love) has made me a matured woman with versatile thinking. And most of all, my destiny today has turned me  in to a woman who loves her job , loves the long way she came up to now, and a woman who believe there's more and more room  now to hunt the dreams she used to have.

Now I am more stable and matured to chase behind my dreams !! Don't I ??

I learned Chemistry , I pampered my fed up head with IT , I earn from Teaching, and grew in to master Management ..  And I LIVE for my dream with a happier and stable mind today!!! Howzat ??? ;-)

When it is RAINING , and when you don't like it , the silver-lights on the sky  seem like A THUNDER of danger to your sight ! 

when it is RAINING , and when you look at it as a SHOWER OF JOY , you would start counting seconds for the silver dashes , and the climax would be A DANCE IN THE RAIN ! 

8. Do you love you?

While I was browsing for nice quotes , i seriously fell in love with what I found...  And I looked at the mirror to ask my self , Do You ???

Hell No ! Some times back ! It was NO. I regret to have a sensitive skin with pimples , the body that easily runs out of BMI with few plates of fried rice, a heart that easily gets hurt and weep in public.

But today , I realized I have seriously started to fall in love with my self.

Then I asked again, are you blindly and madly admiring you ? Do you boast and started thinking that you are the sexiest and prettiest and greatest and whatever 'est' possible ?? :)  Luckily my heart said 'No',

Sigh.......

Once again , this thought ignited an idea in my mind, can we really love another person, if we don't appreciate our selves?
can I accept another one as he/she is , if I can not love who I am?

I started thinking and thinking...

We are not perfect. We are not born fair, born pretty , born talented nor born performers. But we are born with so much of potential , an energy still hidden in millions of neurons and brain cells.

To perform, we must work for a target. to achieve , we need to dream and plan for it. to plan , we need faith on unused millions of brain slots , still waiting to be used.

When I work for a dream, It makes me happy saying my self , I'm a performer!
When I have beautiful people around me , It makes me feel lucky and confident about my fate!
When I loose , It makes me happy that I can bear the pains !
When I am under pressure, It feels me being tested for threshold ! 

everyday I wake up, I whisper my self,

I love who I am, MY mezzy hair , my tanned , pimple prone skin, home made philosophies , and useless analysis of life (sometimes) has made a rare being with beauty , which I believe to be true , so as My loved ones too would do !

7. My Life > Your Life ????

Today I was discussing issues with one of the students. Well he could ignite this tiny idea in my mind, to re-think, re-write in English blog, why sorrow is normal and suffering is optional..

Sorrow, suffering, sadness , disappointments , departures of our loved ones , all these do happen to each and every one, may be each and every day. There’s no time, there no turn or a moment we can expect. Can we ever schedule, postpone or delay the sufferings, even if we want?

 NO.

Depressing, disappointing things bring discomfort to our lives. It is a  feeling of difficulty of breathing, living and spending each and every moment of time. We wish if we could, erase that portion of happenings from our lives.

But can we? Can we really do that?

Every unfavorable time, we tend to say to us, "why me?" "Why did this happen to only me?" "Why do I not deserve happiness like they do?"  "Why am i the one selected to suffer ?"

 Why why why???

Well.... I got something to say...

Don’t forget, everyone smiles. Everyone loves fun. But none of them have the perfect happiness, at  least a part of it. But when you are in deep pain, you see they all seem relaxed. But remember , our eyes does illusions. It’s not the truth.

As you smile, as you use your smile to ease the pain, everyone does the same. No difference! suffering is inherited in our lives by birth. Pains, hurts, losses, tears, injustice ... I can give many names to those bad times. But didn’t you think, suffering is something deviating from the smooth run.

I once learned these... why suffer?  Why CONTINUE suffering? Pain is eternal. But suffering is optional! Don’t you think so . I do.

When i faced an utmost, most fearful loss in my life, yes I suffered! I hid in a room for months! I cried alone! At night! At dark! While traveling home by bus even! I cried! I asked myself.. Why me??? What’s wrong with only my fate? For several days says and days, yes it was that QUESTIONING TIME!

But after few weeks , I learned ,the questions I asked were not questions, they were signs of  regrets, symbols of  wounds of  unarguable losses ! Then I learned , NO , if there’s a question , not solvable within my limit, why go behind to solve? Let me be me, let me pray! It was that PRAYING  TIME !

After some days I realized prayers work. Prayers didn’t solve the question,. Prayers gave me energy to believe that suffering is optional! Yes I decided at that moment, Pain will arrive and vanish time to time, some are intense, and some are not. Pain can live with me.

“But I’m not going to SUFFER ANYMORE ! I’m not going to entertain  nor water YOU ‘PAIN’. Not anymore”

 Yes , it was when the prayers worked !

when I made a choice , between suffering, living and winning the rest of my life, yeah , I am that stone heart determined myself , the third option  - WINNING THE REST OF MY LIFE !

I win...! I believe in what prayers gave me! The strength to neglect the typical discouraging factors! The strength to neglect the typical views of the society. !

 There I Win. ! Not the entire world ! I WON the LOVE of my OWN HEART towards MY SELF !

REMEMBER !

PAIN IS INEVITABLE !

SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL  !

LIVING WITH PAIN IS POSSIBLE !

FORGETTING PAIN & LIVING IS NORMAL !

WINNING THE LIFE BACK IS EXCEPTIONAL !